Searching for a pack to serve (joining request)

[Deleted]

 A lonely wolf was on the grasslands.This area of the grasslands, far from her old territory , isn't a good place for a young

wolf. Other wolves  -hostiles - might be haunting here. 

Auburn eyes scanned the surroundings, watching for signs of life, perhaps enemy’s. She seems like she’s hunting, but nothing is less true. She’s searching.   

Artemis stopped walking. This is it. One step more and she will be in the territory of this alpha. As like an invisible force pushed her this way, she traversed the mountains, through rivers and beyond other territory's. Would this alpha accepted her? Her heart stopped for a moment. What if she did make this journey for nothing. She shook her head. No, whatever is gonna happen, the white wolf, hopefully Taboo, has  certainly a destination for her.
A long howl interrupt the peace. She reveals her attendance to the alpha, hoping for response.

 

[Rykett]

Piala:

Piala heard the call that summoned her to the border. It most likely heralded the arrival of another loner seeking to join her pack. The white alphess loped to the border. She travelled along the invisible line that curved around her territory. The tri-colored coat of the stranger blended into the dying grass of Autumn, but Piala picked out the form of the she-wolf.

”What brings you here, stranger?” The alphess said as she met the she-wolf’s auburn eyes with her piercing orange gems. Her expression was a gentle smile as she examined the she-wolf standing before her. She seemed like a kind wolf though her reddish-brown eyes held some fear. It was probably the fear of rejection. Many newcomers had that fear.

[Deleted]

Artemis was speechless for a moment. A large, white wolf appeared at the border, the Alphess.
Her eyes met the gemstone-like, piercing eyes of the Alphess. Does she has to look down? To take a step afterwards? Is it disrespectful to look anyway to the Alphess? The friendly but earnest voice from the Alphess asked her what brought her by this territory. She plucked up the courage to answer and took a deep breathe, the reassuring smile of the Alphess encouraged her to move on.

"I'm a loner" Artemis stopped for a moment. Is she a loner? Than she nodded. She's out of the pack, so a loner.
"And I'm searching for a pack" She looked swiftly to the Alphess, trying to gauge the reaction. She continues: "My old pack sent me away because of my independence, the Alpha said the pack had to be one. I've follow my intuition which brought me here, by your territory." Artemis decided to wait for a reaction, what does the Alphess think of her so far? Would she send her away?

[Rykett]

Piala:

The she-wolf seemed nervous as most newcomers. She seemed like a nice young wolf. Piala would be pleased to accept her into the pack. Piala nodded in acknowledgement of the wolf’s explanation. Her orange eyes twinkled with kindness as the Alphess spoke again, ”My name is Piala, I am the alphess of Eternal Snowfall which owns this territory. If you wish to join, state your name and your alliance. If you share this pack’s alliance, I may accept you into this pack.” The wind blew softly at the pair of wolves as they conversed. The air was brisk and chill with the oncoming Winter while lazy clouds drifted across the pale blue sky.

((Sorry for the wait!))

[Deleted]

(No problem. By the way, if there's something wrong with my English, please, do not doubt to tell me. I'm still working at my grammar. Sometimes I might use proverbs which doesn't sounds familiair to you, same thing...)

Artemis moved her ears. A gentle breeze blew through her coat and brought the smell of the coming spring. She closed her eyes grateful. The alphess has still not dismissed her and a wave of appreciation for the alphess floated through Artemis. “They call me Artemis and I don't trust Geist, nor Sheba ... I have faith in Taboo. Geist gives wolves large forces although she knows that those forces will not be used for good things. Sheba gives wolves forces that can be used for good, but also for evil things. Taboo gives forces to those who will use their powers for the good of others.” Artemis watched the alphess hesitant. “Maybe I belong to none of all, but if I could choose I would choose for the good wolves... I would like to belong to them.” She looked into the twinkling, kind eyes of the alphess. She’s by far the friendliest wolf who she has met during her journey ... With these thoughts she let go her nervous attitude, why would the alphess attack her anyway? She doesn’t seem hostile at all. Curious she looked to the expression of the alphess. What does she thinks about her answer? Would she has noticed the change in her attitude?

[Rykett]

((You’re doing great! I noticed a couple cases of subject-verb disagreement and changing from past tense to present, but those are common mistakes that everyone makes sometimes. ))

Piala:

Artemis’s answer was more long-winded than the usual couple word or sentence responses that Piala received from most newcomers to her border, but the she-wolf seemed to be still figuring out where she stood in the alliances of the valley. There was a hesitant tone to the sentences that supported Piala’s theory. Perhaps she was new to the valley though she showed knowledge of the White Wolves and their natures.

After Artemis spoke, she seemed to relax. Maybe she was finding herself to be more comfortable under Piala’s gaze than the leaders from previous packs that she’d met with. ”Very well then, Artemis. I accept you into Eternal Snowfall as a subordinate of the pack. Prove yourself worthy of a higher rank and it will be rewarded to you. You will find dens within the copse,” Piala said with a smile. Another, deeper howl curved across the atmosphere. The alphess raised her head slightly higher to listen, her orange eyes gazing into space. Then she met Artemis’s eyes, ”I have another wolf to meet with. I bid you farewell and a welcome to Tranquil Meadows.” Then the alphess’s cream colored paws carried her away.
-Exit Piala-