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Post by Fierfly on Mar 10, 2017 12:30:52 GMT -5
Epsilon:
The guilt and confusing, conflicting emotions and ideas raged inside of him and he stared off into the maze of trees and overcast sky. Seldom had he ever been so frustrated, what's worse was that the frustration he felt was largely toward himself. Why was he such an idiot? Better yet, what was wrong with what he'd done? Well...regarding the authority he'd ignored plenty, but he didn't understand what had happened beyond that. What had went wrong? It suddenly hit him that he sounded something like a whining pup complaining about a hard trek and he sheepishly turned to apologize to Amora for taking up her time and snapping at her earlier. To his surprise there wasn't as much annoyance on her features as he'd expected, if anything the raven-coated she-wolf was...amused? Some tilted half-grin of something that could only be called amusement claimed her mouth and he was about to ask her what she found so funny when she cautiously set out to explain to Epsilon how her mother might have been viewing the situation.
Amora hesitated for a moment, trying to decide how to best phrase the words before taking the route of blunt honesty and said that her mother didn't exactly trust anyone. Epsilon furrowed his brow as he listened, ears perked forward to take in the information. Really? That was an...interesting attitude to have, but it would help explain her hesitancy with even helping Zamir if she found it difficult to trust. "It's...it's a huge compliment that she trusts you enough to make you Heir," now he wrinkled his muzzle as he thought about that. As...as flattering as it sounded and as much as it made sense that the alphess would only promote those she had any semblance of trust for...it only confused so much more. The direct iciness, keeping him at a distance, the weary concern in her posture and sometimes voice and eyes whenever she addressed him...he hadn't imagined all those had he? No, he was pretty sure he hadn't. Maybe it was just Blaise's way, Amora wasn't exactly warm with her friends either, (if he could claim to be her friend) but she was blunt, forward. She spoke her mind and had no qualms about letting others know her thoughts and didn't hesitate to take charge of a situation, she was...real...more personable somehow, very different from her reserved mother, so he'd have to consider Blaise differently, react accordingly and all that.
Amora finally set out to correct the mystery of what he'd actually done wrong with Zamir. As it turned out, nothing, it was just her fear of betrayal that had set off her reaction. She'd been hurt in her life; badly, and she was afraid of it happening again. He couldn't blame her, he understood not wanting to get hurt and nodded understandingly as Amora tried to explain. Even a minor infraction worried the alphess, she couldn't handle betrayal, not even a little, it haunted her. He nodded again, telling himself he'd have to work harder, tread more carefully, give her her space, do what he could to keep out of her way. "As for your redemption..." he glanced back up at Amora, somewhat surprised that was still possible. Amora said that all he could really do was keep trying, do his best not to slip again. He could do that, but what else? Nothing. He'd done all he could...that was encouraging. They let the silence prevail for a few minutes, each in their own thoughts, Epsilon feeling that somehow he was falling short and Amora considering what she'd just revealed. Then she broke the quiet again. She would help him, she would try to help Blaise see that he meant no harm, she'd do what she could to help them both heal. A half-hearted but genuine smile of gratitude faintly lifted the corners of his maw. "I guess I really owe you now huh?" He wasn't one to joke, but he had no right dragging Amora into this drama, especially if her relationship with her mother was already strained (he had not forgotten Spenca and their confusion to their relation then), the least he could do was try to make it easy on her. "I'm sorry to drag you into this mess...but thank-you...thank-you so much...for everything." the smile deepened slightly and became more easy and genuine and the dark blue eyes gave a hint of a twinkle at his dear friend. He owed her a lot.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2017 11:18:10 GMT -5
He owes me. Big time. Amora rolled her eyes slightly, before whipping the male on the shoulder with a small vine. "You know you do. Just keep that in mind." The shewolf cracked a smile in the attempt to lighten the mood. Romance and forgiveness were definitely awkward subjects to be talking about with one of your friends. Now that Amora thought about it, Epsilon was probably her only friend. That revelation sent a shiver (;3) down her spine. Amora, who held herself at such high, and likable standards, only had one friend. Of all the wolves she had met, she had chosen to alienate her family. Those wolves she was uncontrollably, eternally tied to, she had pushed away and even hurt. Amora shook her head, refusing to let such old emotions reclaim her. Especially in front of Epsilon. With another shake for good measure, she stood, feeling the vines and sinewy straps of her prosthetic dig into her for a moment. "Hey, it's going to be...okay." Her dark purple yes took on this faraway look, as if she was talking to herself, reassuring herself, and not her friend. After all, she still remembered the strange vision she had received in the Redwood Forests. Something big was happening, she could taste it in the air. Feel it's vibrations from the earth and into her bones. She could hear it in the eerie winds blowing above the peaks. It was as if the entire valley itself was holding its breath; hanging onto the edge of its seat. Something was going to happen, and she had to play a huge part. What it was, she didn't know...
-exit Amora-
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Post by Fierfly on Mar 27, 2017 11:04:08 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Amora lightly rolled her eyes and that familiar smirk overtook her features and she playfully swatted his shoulder with one of her curling vines she'd used to stitch up Zamir. "You know you do. Just keep that in mind." her voice warned consequences, but the playful smirk and light in her dark eyes told him she was teasing, trying to lighten the mood in a way. He appreciated that and a full-fledged smile momentarily took over his features. "Yes Ma'am," he shot back; then bit his tongue, best not to push his luck; Amora was already being very generous, no need to push her. The smile softened and gradually melted as the heavy atmosphere took over again and he gazed down at his young charge Zamir. What had he gotten himself into with this? He didn't know how to raise pups. Granted Zamir was already nearly a yearling and much of his rearing was already done, he wanted to overwrite the worst of the memories and experiences, how did one even do that? He certainly didn't know. He did not regret his decision to take him in, but he was realizing that it wasn't going to be as simple as he might have thought. And despite Amora's offer to help him, speak to her mother about trusting him, he still worried. They weren't terribly close the mother and daughter, the last thing he wanted to do was drive another wedge between the two. So the smile disappeared and the short frown of concern took its place on his face again as the two stood together, but their minds miles apart, each in their own world.
Amora let out a shaky breath and shook her head over once or twice and shifted toward her desired direction and she moved to leave. "Hey, it's going to be...okay." He startled out of his thoughts and turned to Amora to follow up on her statement, only to find her eyes faraway and still in deep thought. Self pep-talk? Did she really dread speaking with her mother that much? Why had she even offered? No, there was an anxiety over something bigger than a simple conversation in her eyes and posture, there was something wrong. He pricked his ears and started to ask but Amora nodded absently and turned away and left. He stared after the she-wolf, puzzled. There was something wrong, something that made Amora uneasy, and part of him wanted to help, but he didn't know how.
He glanced back down at Zamir and his steady breathing. He stepped over the unconscious body and retrieved the half-eaten rabbit Zamir had started on. He turned back to the young charge, placed the rabbit nearby and reclined beside the yearling, sheltering him from a stiff breeze that had started up. On the outside he was still and calm, but on the inside his mind was whirling, questioning what the next few hours held in store for him, wondering, waiting, fearing the mistakes he'd made and the problems he could not solve. They haunted him sometimes, but there was nothing to be done. He had a sudden desire to wander, take a minute to breathe, get out of the suffocating atmosphere of the Grove and let his wanderer's blood take control, if only for a few minutes. He'd wait until Zamir awoke, gently move him and the rabbit to the den and take a quick sprint before facing his comeuppance from Alphess Blaise. He couldn't face it right away, not right away...
((@wiltingwallflower))
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2017 20:29:47 GMT -5
Zamir woke not too long after Amora had taken her leave, meaning that he was half-conscious by the time Epsilon settled down beside him. He nudged closer to the warmth, only opening his eyes when he found that moving was a bit difficult. "Ep-Epsilon, what is th-this?" he questioned nervously, looking up at the large male to his right. He found that by meeting the intelligent gaze of his elder, and by ignoring the quiet growl of his stomach, his body relaxed. Suddenly he frowned and his ears lowered, as did his eyes. "Epsilon, I...apologize for b-blacking out. I did not mean to... Did you or your friend think it was rude..? I'm sorry." He was afraid that Epsilon would reject him. If the male did, then Zamir would have no place to go and the last thing he could do was survive on his own in the wild when he was told every day of his short life that he probably wouldn't live to adulthood.
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Post by Fierfly on Mar 31, 2017 17:00:35 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Zamir stirred beside him as he settled down and awoke, the pale green eyes peeking from under the velveteen lids and sliding over to glance up at his guardian. Epsilon immediately turned to his charge, pushing aside the need to wander and escape his own problems in favor of seeing to Zamir's needs. He tried to shift his weight and move closer to the larger male, but he was unaccustomed to the bandages and his movements were somewhat inhibited by them, probably Amora's way of making sure he followed orders and stayed fairly still to allow him a chance to heal. Zamir first asked what was hindering his movements, then averted his eyes, pinned his ears back and shuddered and apologized for passing out. Epsilon lowered his head and gently nudged Zamir to get him to look at him. "Don't be, it's okay. I'm surprised you didn't pass out sooner, a lesser wolf probably would have after what you've been through." What he'd been through, Epsilon winced as he thought of everything Zamir had endured. Too much for a wolf of just under a year, he had no confidence in himself, he was scared of making a wrong move, he needed to loosen up, be able to breathe, heal. Actually, that sounded pretty nice about then for both of them.
He straightened, inviting Zamir to look up, right his ears and become the chatter-box Zamir again. "Actually worked out well that you passed out just then, kept you nice and still for Amora to stitch you back up. She did a good job of it too." he grinned again at Zamir who once again struck him as having more than a passing resemblance to a giant cotton fluff or dandelion seed at the moment. "You're all fluffy," the corner of his mouth quirked into a laughing, teasing grin, but he dare not let it go beyond that. Zamir was skittish enough, no need to make him out-right nervous. "How are you feeling?"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2017 18:37:18 GMT -5
Zamir blinked in surprise when he was nudged, his jade eyes wide up at the larger male beside him. The compliment made him glance away shyly and then puff with pride. His tail began wagging happily, and now his gaze was bright. "I'm feeling better, Epsilon! I think that's because I'm not moving but, to be honest, I'm really hungry. Is it okay if I eat, Epsilon? You did catch the rabbit and I don't want to be rude by eating the whole thing. You're supposed to have some of it because you're the one that caught it, right, Epsilon?" he rambled. It seemed for a second that he had finished, but he continued on. "That she-wolf from before—her name was Amora, right? She was very beautiful. Is she your mate, Epsilon? She seemed a bit cold at first, but she must be very kind to tend to an outsider like me, right? I hope I can see her and thank her for helping me!"
It seemed that he would never stop speaking, but then, he did. He looked around at the unfamiliar forest and swallowed dryly before lowering his head onto his bandaged forelegs. To say that he was nervous was an understatement. However, his anxiety focused around himself was different from what he felt regarding the fate of his new friend at the paws of the Alphess. "Epsilon?" he began quietly. "Will...will the Alphess—will you be alright, Epsilon? She seemed very angry, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you, Epsilon... Is it because of me? If you take me to her, I can tell her that I don't need to be accepted into the pack—if that is why she is angry! Epsilon, you're not going to be harmed, are you? I may not know a lot, but in my old pack, the Alpha was cruel when someone disobeyed... Epsilon, please tell me that you will be alright." He looked as if he feared for Epsilon's very life. It was a sad thing to say that he truly did.
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Post by Fierfly on Apr 1, 2017 21:40:22 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Zamir glanced away shyly as Epsilon praised his endurance but his chest puffed and tail wagged. Good, this was a start: Zamir had likely been picked on and insulted every day of his life, if he was going to help him to overcome the limits his birth-pack had placed upon him then everything would have to be turned around: no insults, time to start showing him what he was doing right. Now that that was over Zamir became his amiable, chattering self. He was fine, not moving was helping (Epsilon could have figured that out, hopefully this would be further encouragement for him to keep more still and rest up properly.) but he was starving. Amazing...he would have thought that after losing more blood than any wolf was meant to lose in one day alone and then hearing that he'd had to be stitched back up would have ruined or lessened Zamir's appetite. Apparently he wasn't too squeamish, which was fine by Epsilon he needed to eat well anyway, the skinny frame still bothered the silver male and he decided his new project was going to be to try and fill it out to what he was sure it would have been if the proper care had been given the yearling. "Go ahead, I caught it for you." he reached out, dragged the rabbit a little bit closer to Zamir and nodded for him to eat, but the young male didn't fall to his meal right away. He was quite the talker!
He began talking about Amora and Epsilon half-expected a follow-up on the replacement leg he'd taken such a keen interest in, instead he started saying how pretty she was. Epsilon considered that for a moment: Amora? It wasn't hard to understand why Zamir had commented, Amora was an attractive young she-wolf; the dark raven coat and dark amethysts she'd inherited from her mother were eye-catching, especially with the sunset colors swirled into her pelt, it was an interesting contrast. Zamir followed up on the agreed upon fact of Amora's physical attractiveness with a query to whether or not she was his mate. Epsilon felt the white insides of his ears turn red and his fluffy fur on his cheeks fluffed up. Amora??? Him and Amora? Oh thank the Power Amora hadn't heard that comment! Some strange, strangled sound, something between a laugh, grunt, uncomfortable squeak and a clearing of the throat barked up from the giant gray male. He was definitely not the type to settle down and have a family, and the very idea of Amora finding a romantic partner and mothering after pups... He just couldn't see it. Not until her other three legs fell off anyway. The very idea...it was almost laughable; an ill-matched pair to be sure! And yet...if Amora had heard the question how would she have responded? Amused? Dubious? Angry? And Alphess Blaise...he didn't feel like the mother and daughter were close, but he doubted that the Alphess would have let their relationship get that intimate...if she knew of their friendship at all... Oh Power, he needed to stop thinking about it.
He recovered after his mild choking sound and shook his head. "N-no, Amora and I aren't...like that. She's just a very good friend, and she owed me a favor." he forced a grin and waited for his burning ears to return to the fluffy white and forced himself to breathe evenly so the cheek fluff would come back down. "I suspect you'll see her around, she said she'd be by later to check your bandages and redress your wounds and she's usually around here during the day." he began to ramble in a distinct effort not to make any acknowledgement of Zamir's comment about Amora's beauty or their relationship. "Please...Power don't let him ask about that again...especially not in front of Amora." he begged silently. And for the time it appeared the great entity granted his request.
Zamir lowered his head, glanced around the forest somewhat timidly and began to speak quietly again: "Epsilon? Will...will the Alphess-will you be alright, Epsilon?" he went on to worry over how angry the Alphess had seemed to be, worried that she might hurt Epsilon, the yearling even suggested leaving the pack to spare his friend the punishment. "Absolutely not!" Epsilon barked, then softened, "She's accepted you into the pack, I've made my mistake...she's just upset that I didn't call her: What's done is done and we're going to deal with it. You're going to make a great young scout someday Zamir, and I'm going to report to the Alphess for a lecture." Zamir stared up at him with scared green eyes as though he feared for his life. "Look, don't worry. I'm almost twice her size, she couldn't really do much to hurt me, and Alphess Blaise isn't like that. I'll probably get a good tongue-lashing and maybe a few privileges will be revoked or she'll send me on border patrol for a few weeks, but nothing really bad will happen. Killing and hurting are not her goal, just correction." Epsilon actually felt a lot more uneasy about the situation than he was letting on, but as he spoke he found his reassurance to Zamir welcome to himself as well. He was a huge wolf, and though the Alphess wasn't exactly small, he did tower over her, far from twice her size, but he was still considerably larger, any physical discipline she exerted wouldn't hurt much. What was going to hurt was the stinging of her tone as she told him she no longer trusted him, but he could deal with that. Zamir was worth it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2017 18:09:42 GMT -5
Zamir frowned a bit due to Epsilon's immediate denial of any relationship between him and Amora, but then the pup spoke again. His whole body jerked painfully due to the large male's sudden shout. Those too big, fluffy ears on his head trembled as they flattened. The harsh movement caused his wounds to ache, but then Epsilon softened his tone and spoke to him calmly. To be quite honest, he had been expecting an immediate physical reprimanding. He was ready to accept that and anything else Epsilon might have thrown at him, and yet none of that came.
His tensed, wounded body relaxed somewhat as Epsilon spoke, his breathing slowly calming down. "I, um, u-understand, Epsilon... But... I don't understand... If a pack member misbehaves, are they not to be severely punished? I mean, they disrespected their Alpha and angered the pack due to that. Disobedience is not something to brush over, Epsilon... So why would Alphess Blaise act any differently from my old pack and the others around the area? She needs to keep order, does she not? I'm sorry, Epsilon, I'm just confused. I don't understand the rules of the packs in these parts. They are strange—weirdly calm... Are all packs around here like that, Epsilon? How to the Alphas keep order if they are not cruel when a wolf below them is disobedient?" His innocent face is confused, his eyes shimmering with uncertainty. He couldn't believe that Epsilon was not going to be harmed. To him, it seemed unrealistic.
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Post by Fierfly on Apr 3, 2017 12:40:55 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Zamir winced at the entirely too firm bark from Epsilon and he instantly regretted the hint of anger that had slipped through, but he needed Zamir to understand that he was going to stay in the pack, that things were finally changing for him, no more abuse, no more curses, it was time for the yearling to learn hope. As he softened his tone and more gently began to insist that Zamir would stay and he'd face his punishment Zamir relaxed and began breathing easily again. Epsilon hadn't noticed he'd had much of a temper until he'd had Zamir monitoring every reaction that could be read as negative, he'd have to work on that, it seemed that Zamir already trusted him, but he wanted to be able to earn and deserve that trust. Zamir listened to his explanation, but the brow was still furrowed and nose scrunched up with confusion and thought. "I, um, u-understand, Epsilon... But... I don't understand..." Epsilon felt his own bit of confusion until Zamir began to explain.
Insubordination should have been severely punished. Correct so far, he had indeed overstepped his bounds and not paid proper respect to Alphess Blaise's authority, though he doubted that much of the pack knew of it or that the Alphess would mention it, his infringement had been rather personal to her from what Amora had said and her own feelings about personal betrayal. True again, that disobedience was not to be ignored or treated lightly, but it wasn't as though he'd blatantly ignored an order Alphess Blaise had given him. He'd forgone a well-understood pack rule and that would mean consequences, but he hadn't blatantly defied an order either. That was not the issue though, Zamir wanted to understand why Alphess Blaise would handle the situation with anything less than a beating or disciplining of the sort Zamir knew from his old back. An alpha needed to keep order in the ranks, how did one do that when they were so calm? Were all packs in the Valley so gentle with their members? How could an alpha keep order with no punishments for disobedience?
Epsilon considered the questions very carefully before speaking. "I can't speak for all packs in the Valley as this is the only one I've ever been a member of, but yes, things here are different from what you understood in your old pack." he carefully weighed his next words. "Alphess Blaise is not happy with me, don't misunderstand. She's upset that I didn't call her, maybe a little angry, but mostly I think she's disappointed." Disappointed: a heavy word with a bitter taste in his mouth. "I made a mistake in not calling for her, but I'm also taking responsibility for my mistake, I'm going to help take care of you, try and help you understand the Valley so you can bring your talents to the pack...I did something wrong in ignoring her authority over the border yes, but to an end of saving a life. I don't mean that the ends justify the means, at least, not all the time, but I wasn't disobeying a law to spite her, I was trying to do something right, and I think-" or at least he hoped! "I think she understands that. And I understand that I should have called for her. She doesn't want to kill me or break one of my legs, that won't do her any good. She just wants me to understand and do better. Yes there will be consequences for what I did, but she wants me to understand that we all need to work together for the good of the pack." He glanced around at the forest, searching for an example. "Like the trees," he left Zamir's side and approached one of the oldest in the grove with long, gnarly roots, some poking above the ground. "If the tree is unsure of one of the roots, it can either let the root grow weak and be dislodged, or it can strengthen the root so that the root works with the network to keep the tree strong and tall. Some alphas might disregard an uncertain root, but Alphess Blaise wants all of the roots - all of the members of the pack to work together to uphold our tree: Secluded Sunrise." he gazed up at the great, leafy top, then looked back to his charge. "Do you understand?"
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2017 20:04:49 GMT -5
Zamir listened whole-heartedly, but there was still something he did not understand, not even after Epsilon's tree-metaphor. He shifted a bit and waited for the male to finish before speaking. "Epsilon, I'm sorry, but I still don't quite grasp it... Why would Alphess Blaise choose to gently reprimand a wolf who disobeyed her..? I'm sorry, but all I know is strict rule and harsh punishment... Are you certain that she will not harm you, Epsilon..? I'm just worried, that's all. I don't want her to hurt you because of me..," he said lowly, his brows furrowing over his beautiful forest green eyes. His ears went down, his thoughts plaguing him.
The possibility that Epsilon could be harmed weighed heavily on his young mind. Zamir dug the nails on his forelegs into the soft earth, licking his lips to keep himself from giving into the hot tears burning behind his eyes. She'll hurt him! She'll hurt him! Just like Father and Alpha... My first friend in this new pack, and he'll be harmed all because of me, he thought. Suddenly an oily tear slipped down his cheek. In a panic, he scrubbed it away with his paw harshly. "I-I apologize, Elder Wolf!" he squeaked, his heart racing so hard his body shook. His eyes were wide and his ears flat, and fear made it feel as if the ground beneath him was beginning to pull him down.
In his old pack, tears were a sign of weakness—and with a mark on him as the runt of the pack, the weak-link, any tears were not tolerated. He had learned his lesson and there was no way he would allow himself to give in to the comfort of sobbing when it meant an instant punishment.
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Post by Fierfly on Apr 6, 2017 23:37:34 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Zamir listened to Epsilon's attempted explanation with great interest, ears flicking and eyes following as Epsilon moved to the tree and then turned to look back at him, but the forehead was still knit in confused concentration. Zamir tilted his head back and forth and twitched his nose one way or another as he thought, then confessed that the concept still alluded him. Why would Alphess Blaise be gentle with him? He had acted incorrectly, he had broken an understood pack rule. Why was he not going to be punished for it? Or at least not harshly? It was not a matter to be taken lightly, so why was he not going to be beaten? Zamir paused and began talking quickly, on the brink of stuttering again. "Are you certain that she will not harm you, Epsilon..? ...I don't want her to hurt you because of me..."
White Magic's Power help him, what had he seen? What had they done to him? Zamir tensed and Epsilon could see the scared light of the whites of his eyes come back to the yearling. Tears began to shimmer, then pool, then one spilled. Zamir hurriedly scrubbed it away and squeaked out an apology, again referring to Epsilon as "Elder Wolf"; his body low again and trembling and ears were flat against his skull. He briefly gnawed at his lip as he fought the rest of the tears back. Epsilon stared at Zamir and for a moment saw in his place a blue-eyed sterling silver form in his place, also fighting tears. He quickly brushed the mental image away and shook his massive head. What could he ever hope to do for Zamir? He'd seen so much, been hurt by so much. What had he gotten himself into? Really was there a way to heal wounds this deep? Well...he was going to try.
"Zamir," he came back to his charge and sat beside him, craning his head around to make eye-contact. "I'm sorry. You've seen a lot of pain, a lot of fear, a lot of heartache - a lot of darkness. But darkness doesn't last forever...things change when the sun comes up. There's more to life than hurt, I promise, things will be different here, maybe not easy at first and there is Alphess Blaise to deal with, but she will not hurt me, here we're a family, we all stick together, count on each other." Big words coming from a hermit, "She just wants me to remember my part in the family, not cast me out of it. She's also given you a place in it, and here you're going to stay, I promise." Zamir still fought back tears and it dawned on Epsilon that maybe crying had been another sort of "weakness" that had not been permitted. ...Zamir needed to let a little of the grief out. Epsilon crouched down to his eye-level, "You know, they say that crying means you've been strong for too long." Not waiting for an initial reaction to what had likely been a blaspheme to everything Zamir had been taught, Epsilon awkwardly brought a paw around and putting the pad on Zamir's back, urged him toward the giant gray wolf and Epsilon brought his massive head over one of Zamir's bandaged shoulders. He wasn't in the habit of giving hugs, or emotional support to anyone, much less a yearling he barely knew, but he was sure that after Zamir's life, some encouragement and hope were long overdue. He needed it.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2017 18:53:42 GMT -5
Zamir kept his head and ears low, his entire body flinching hard at the sound of his own name. Then Epsilon continued speaking. He looked up at the male with tears still shimmering in his eyes. "N-..no! No, no, no! C-crying is b-bad, Epsilon! It's bad, it's bad, it's bad! I'm bad! ... Epsilon, I c-can't cry! It's so b-bad! F-Father will get m-m-mad at me, and I-I'll get in tr-trouble! B-bad Zamir, bad, bad! I'm a b-bad wolf! I'm a bad p-pup!" he shouted. Despite this, he buried himself into Epsilon and cried. He cried for his mother, for his siblings, for the abusive he had been put through. It was hard for him to finally let all of it out, but he soon stopped speaking to allow himself to sob loudly.
It took him a good while, but when he finally stopped, he pulled back slowly and sniffled. He licked his muzzle and wiped at the sides of his face with his paws. "I'm s-sorry, Epsilon," he said softly, sniffling again. His ears remained flat on his head, but his chest and mind felt lighter. Was crying really the solution for all that had been weighing on his heart? It seemed impossible and yet so incredibly believable at the same time. How? Why? He didn't know, but when he nuzzled his face against Epsilon again, he released a sigh of relief.
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Post by Fierfly on Apr 17, 2017 10:16:34 GMT -5
Epsilon:
Zamir trembled with emotion and rage at the very idea he could be allowed to cry and he began shouting. C-crying is bad, it's bad! I'm bad! F-Father will get m-m-mad at me. B-bad Zamir, b-bad wolf!" Epsilon still urged him in up close to the massive shoulder, tick warm neckfur poked at Zamir's snout and he could feel the tips rustle with the yearlings breath and finally they were damp with his tears. Zamir stopped resisting and finally buried his head in Epsilon and let himself cry.
Epsilon didn't know what it was, but hearing a wolf cry never failed to send a shiver down his spine or make his flesh crawl uneasily; Zamir was no exception. Somehow the emotion in the sound of a sob or whimper got to him like nothing else could and it haunted him. Each breath accompanied by tears told a new story of pain, of grief, of hurt and each one pieced the solid, quiet giant to his reserved heart far beneath the silver armor. Some of Zamir's sobs were quiet, telling of loneliness; other were whimpers of pain, of past punishments and beatings that still haunted him; the worst were wails, almost howls of grief and pain and fear all in one. The wails bemoaned his state, the possible danger he'd put his new guardian in, the fear of the unknown, the grief over his mother, possibly the only wolf who had ever loved him until now. Any kind of affection or friendliness was somewhat unusual to Epsilon, but Amora had taught him how to be a friend and that had softened his heart enough to feel for Zamir and to have the fatherly love for the yearling that he'd been deprived of. It might not have been enough, from the torment in some of the wails Epsilon wondered if there was healing enough in the world for this kind of grief, but he was at least going to try.
Zamir had himself a good, long cry. Epsilon didn't even try to keep track of how long it had gone, he had a whole year of releasing the pain to catch up on: things like this couldn't be rushed. Every now and then during the torrent Epsilon would carefully re-position his paw, or quietly murmur a few words of comfort. Finally the tears slowed to a slower and more manageable trickle and Zamir stepped back, sniffed, and brushed his paw over his eyes, trying to dry his face. "I'm s-sorry, Epsilon," At least he wasn't still calling him Elder Wolf. The giant felt like this was a good start, Zamir had needed a good vent, and now he knew that when he was frustrated or scared it was alright to let it show. He was finally allowing himself to open up, the first step to healing. "It's okay, you're okay." Zamir came back to the massive gray form of his own accord and without any kind of hesitation wiggled back into his spot where he'd cried and now nuzzled Epsilon under his chin and wiggled until he felt his heartbeat before releasing a massive, shaky sigh, it was drained, but relieved, and that was a good sign. "You gonna be alright Buddy?" he hadn't contracted his sentences like that since he was a pup, but honestly at the moment he didn't care, simple, forward communication was what he needed with Zamir right then. Keep things simple, move on one step at a time: they'd make it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2017 23:34:09 GMT -5
Zamir pulled back to look up at Epsilon in confusion. The male wasn't mad at him? But he had just cried, not to mention he sobbed as he had wanted to when his mother had died. He didn't understand how some wolves could be such polar-opposites from others. His father was cold and cruel, and he enjoyed abusing those he deemed below him. He was a terrible wolf who thought that there was nothing better than having a weak pup to bully at his disposal whenever he felt he needed to take his anger out on something. And yet...Epsilon... Epsilon was so gentle and supporting and kind. He allowed Zamir to cry his heart out, and told him that he was strong. The male did not know him and yet he took him in without a second thought because he was on the verge of death. He was not Epsilon's problem and yet he took care of him and was kind to him.
Tears welled up in Zamir's eyes all over again, but now he was smiling. He laughed softly at first and then progressively louder, the tears vanishing. He had cried before, but this was his first true laugh. To share it with Epsilon was a gift. When he finally calmed down, he nuzzled into Epsilon's fur and took his scent in with a deep breath. "I'm okay now, Epsilon. Thank you. Would you mind if we slept a little? I'm a bit tired," he asked, pulling back to look up at the wolf with shimmering eyes. He felt sadness still, but joy was what was making his eyes glow such a beautiful forest green.
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Post by Fierfly on Apr 25, 2017 9:50:25 GMT -5
Epsilon:
He'd just asked Zamir if he would be alright, Zamir immediately froze up, slowly backed away to be able to look at his guardian and stared at him in what could have only been utter bewilderment. What? What had he said? Had no one even asked him if he was going to be alright in his old pack? What was wrong with those wolves? It wasn't that difficult to cut him some slack! Some wolves he would never understand.
Zamir continued to stare at him and slowly tears began to well up in his eyes again and Epsilon felt his jaw want to drop. Again? He'd just cried for how long and now he was going to start again? Truly! What had he done? Had he insulted him somehow? Where were all of the tears coming from? Yet as Epsilon watched, he realized that Zamir's face wasn't crumpling with hurt and he made no move to collapse back into Epsilon's shoulder, rather, it looked like he was starting to smile. Slowly a full-fledged grin claimed the yearling's face, his eyes grew wide and the corners of his mouth pushed up his cheeks and he gently began to laugh. Could his jaw drop for real this time? Zamir was laughing? Epsilon felt a smile beguiling it's way onto his own features even as he tried to puzzle out what they were laughing at. What was so funny? He hadn't thought his face was that extreme. But listening to the sound, it was a happy laugh, not just a giddy, amused one, the sound was happy, relieved, content. The meaning of such a sound was not lost on Epsilon and his own grin deepened and he chuckled once or twice as well. This was off to a very good start.
Zamir got himself under control and assured his guardian that he would be alright, but he was a bit tired and asked if they could retire to the den. Epsilon considered this and shifted uneasily for a split second, he should probably get back to Alphess Blaise about his punishment pretty soon, but...the day was still young, a little bit longer couldn't hurt that much. "Okay, I probably need to get going but I'll stay with you a few minutes. Okay?" he didn't want to make Zamir worry again or make him uncomfortable, but he did want Zamir to understand that you faced responsibility head on. It was getting on time to go. He stood, reached down and gently hoisted Zamir to his feet by gently raising him by his scruff and then took the rabbit back in his jaws, then slowly lead Zamir back into the den, deposited the rabbit near the bed of soft, turned-over earth and some fern leaves he'd brought down and let Zamir settle himself in.
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