|
Post by Calypso on Feb 26, 2018 22:42:47 GMT -5
MedsNanouk;How had her travels lead her here? It made more sense for the black and gold she-wolf to stay near the Wildflower Clearing, for that was where her home and pack were, but she had been distracted. After the claiming of their territory, Nanouk had been focused on her new pack members and on figuring out what she was to do with her new position as Ivory Wild's Gamma. It wasn't until things had settled a bit that her mind suddenly wandered. Almost out of instinct, a certain navy-furred wolf had clouded her mind. She had been merely taking a stroll when she ended up so far that she was right next to the mountain. When she came out of her daze, she found a series of caves in front of her. All of them were dark and, from the outside, seemed to never end. It wasn't particularly cold outside, nor was the weather any worse for wear, so there was no need to get shelter. Even so, she found herself approaching one of the caves, entering the darkness and immediately beginning to blend in. With no sunlight being shined directly on her, her golden markings seemed to disappear, joining the darkness just as the rest of her black fur did. She laid down not too far from the entrance, in far enough that she was basically invisible but wasn't too far that she couldn't see outside. Her head laid on her paws as that certain wolf came to mind again. She recalled their last encounter. So much had happened that it normally would have been difficult to remember, but it surprisingly wasn't. The first moment they saw each other, the playfulness in the water, him falling over the waterfall to scare her, their argument, how close they got.... She shook her head, pushing those images from her mind. She focused in on their departure. She had stated that she wanted to help him get used to these new emotions that he was feeling. She said she didn't want him to be by himself during this transition. Yet it had been almost a whole season since she saw him. Was she really holding up her end of the deal? Was she letting him down? Had he ever went out to look for her while she was with her new pack? She never heard his howl, but still... She let out a sigh, closing her eyes. She did hope that she would see him again soon. Perhaps on her way home she would run into him? She likely didn't have that much luck. Still, a girl could dream couldn't she?
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Feb 27, 2018 17:07:17 GMT -5
DeSoto;
DeSoto had laughed that day. It had been a small thing—quick, quiet, surprising... yet real. Honest. Emotional.
The strong, navy-coloured male had been trailing a rabbit. His prey had not yet lost its brown fur for the whites and greys of the oncoming winter. Because he had chased it to the foot of the mountain, suddenly its dark dirt-coloured fur had no longer been an advantage. DeSoto had used his tall form for his own benefit, twisting in and around larger rocks rather than jumping over them and giving away his position. But that's not what had made him laugh. He had made the kill—the rabbit hadn't stood a chance, really—but as soon as he had sat down to begin eating, he had been interrupted.
A bald eagle landed right in front of him before he had even taken his first bite and actually had the guts to try and snatch the prey out from under his very paws. DeSoto had reacted faster than the bird with a quick swipe, but the blasted thing continued coming back. Finally, after some minutes of this, DeSoto had given up and just thrown the rabbit over. "Fine then, have it for all I care. Your brain is full of feathers anyway." The eagle had grabbed it quickly and taken off. As DeSoto had watched, though, another eagle came out of nowhere and swooped down on the original, frightening it so badly that it dropped the rabbit all over again. The new eagle swooped down and snatched it out of midair, then took off with the other tailing behind. It had been this that brought the laugh forth from DeSoto's throat. Of course, he had laughed before, but only at others or when it had been expected of him. Never just... because. As soon as it happened it was cut short from surprise. DeSoto's eyes had widened, his mouth frozen open in the same shape.
One might think that after such a breakthrough, DeSoto would begin thinking about himself—reflecting on all the different ways he had changed over the last season and a half. But no. A golden and black female was immediately all that he could think about or see. His excitement at wanting to tell her, a feeling of pride in himself that it had happened at all—a little bit of embarrassment for making such a big deal of it. But it was a big deal: Nanouk would know that. And then a moment later he had sprang up and began to look for her. It was a futile effort, really, considering he was on the mountain and the valley was large—but something seemed to be directing his paws. Instead of turning back to the land behind him, he found himself hurrying up the rocky slopes. Not on the way to the White Wolves, no, but in a direction that he hadn't gone down before. It wasn't like a higher power was making him do anything... he just had a feeling there was something he wanted to see up this way. Could it be Nanouk? No... DeSoto wasn't fooling himself into thinking that the two of them were that connected; and yet, he sped up.
DeSoto came around a bend in the rocky slope and felt the ground even-out a little bit more. Upon looking up, he found that his paws and his 'feeling' had taken him to a bunch of mysteriously smooth caves. Nanouk was nowhere in sight, of course (he hadn't thought she would be), but he was rather curious why he had ended up here, of all places, after feeling such a strong pull. He sat down, eyes shifting and sweeping over the stonework. He was still a smart wolf, of course. Not one to go rushing into strange and mysterious situations—so he remained still. What could be at play here? Anything really, he supposed. For all he knew, a powered wolf was hiding behind the bushes at that very moment, having called him here subconsciously. His sharp-looking ears perked forward, listening for anything that might give away foul-play.
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Feb 27, 2018 23:29:54 GMT -5
Nanouk;
Many thoughts came to the golden and black she-wolf's mind as she laid there in the darkness of the cave. Her immediate thought went to that certain male. How was he? Had he felt anything else since their last meeting? And if so, how had he reacted to it? During their last encounter he didn't seem to take the change overly well. But perhaps he had calmed down since then. But she still felt a slight pang of guilt. She had promised him that she would help him, that she would stay by his side while he went through this change. If he actually had experienced any sort of emotion since their encounter, she wasn't keeping up with her promise. But...was it really the promise making her want to stay next to him? It had to be. During her time with her new pack she had sort of convinced herself that she couldn't possibly feel deep feelings towards him beyond friendship. Yet those doubts of her own thoughts were still there.
Last time they had somewhat spoke of these kinds of feelings. They both said that even if they ever did get together, they needed to adjust to being friends first. She then remembered a phrase that he spoke, one that echoed through her mind every single time she thought of him. 'Being friends isn't the end I want to this story.' She felt the skin under her fur flush slightly. Did he really know what he meant by saying that? Had he actually meant it? What was she suppose to do or thing of this? She never imagined herself becoming involved in that way with another wolf. Then again, she never saw herself joining another pack when she came to the valley, yet here she was, the Gamma of a pack. Everything she thought she would never have happen to her was happening. It felt strange.
Then the thought of packs came to mind and she remembered. Desoto had said that he was a part of a pack. He told me a little about it and said something about his Alphess named...Per...something. They both were not only of different alliances, but of different packs. She hadn't yet told her own Alphess, Koa, about her relationship, whatever it would be considered, with Desoto. Had he mentioned anything about it? And if he did, how would they of reacted? How would Koa react if she knew about their partnership? There were too many questions and not enough answers. But that was what Desoto had said. She was an intelligent wolf. She could ask questions all she wanted, but there wasn't much use in guessing the answers.
A scent then filled her nose, one that caused her heart to skip a beat. She kept her eyes closed and didn't move a muscle, but tried to take in that scent. It had to be her nose playing tricks on her. There was no way that he was there. She had only came to these caves on accident, never with the intent of finding him. She couldn't deny that seeing him again would be nice, but there wasn't a very likely chance of it. She then heard a few footsteps near the cave entrance. Her ears perked forward and listened closely. She couldn't quite tell if the other creature was right in front of the cave or not, but she knew that scent. She opened her golden eyes, which could likely be seen from outside the cave, but didn't speak. She had to make sure that it was him before she got too carried away. It would be really unlucky if she went bounding out to find that it wasn't really him.
"Desoto.....?" Her voice was a mere whisper, hardly audible at all unless the other wolf was listening closely.
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Feb 28, 2018 13:26:06 GMT -5
DeSoto;
'DeSoto...?'
The dark blue male spun his head around with speed that told of his rigorous past-training. Though caught by surprise, in that one moment of shock, DeSoto was already facing the direction that the voice had come from and on his feet, ready to fight. But after that first second was over, he got ahold of himself, and half-registered the whisper. Voices were hard to distinguish when whispering, but something about the way the voice lilted up at the end had grabbed hold of his memory and held fast. There was no denying it. DeSoto launched forward before even making the decision to, and was leaping over falling rocks and logs. If he had guessed right, the voice had come from one of the higher caves—or had it been a lower one? All the same, DeSoto scrabbled up the curiously-smooth stone face and stuck his head into the first cave.
"Nanouk?" He breathed, scanning the interior quickly. It hadn't been that long since they had seen each other, but a season felt like a lifetime without her. She wasn't in the cave. DeSoto's dark eyes darkened, and he leaped away from that ones mouth to check another. He checked a good many before he finally picked one closer to the ground but not on the bottom level. He knew it was right before he even caught scent of her. He didn't enter this cave, but stared into the darkness. For a moment he thought he saw a flash of gold that the autumn sun reflected. Her eyes, or her fur, he wasn't sure. But it was her. There was no mistaking it. "Nanouk."
DeSoto's tail didn't wag, but his eyes sparked into new-life and his teeth flashed. It wasn't exactly a smile, but it was the next best thing (more of a grimace, really, but he was trying). Had it really only been one season since he had last seen her? He spared one glance away from the inside of the cave to look up at the clouding-over sky. It was late in the afternoon, but even so, the temperature was dropping. The clouds were a stormy grey-blue that spoke of snow and even colder temperatures. Winter was on the way. DeSoto was glad to have found her before things got cold. He would hate to wonder if she was eating enough or warm enough throughout the dark months.
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 2, 2018 14:46:44 GMT -5
Nanouk;
The dark she-wolf honestly couldn't believe her luck. How had she managed to come to these caves at the same time that he had? Was it just a coincidence? Or did he actually come looking for her? She didn't care. She still got to see him again, and that was enough for her.
At the sound of his voice, at first far away, she lifted her head and perked her ears, almost hopeful. She had heard shuffling moments after before she saw a figure at the entrance. Despite the darkness that was cloaked over the figure, she knew it was him. It couldn't be anyone else. When he spoke her name for the second time, she stood from where she laid and went to step forward, but hesitated. What was she to do then? Run forward and nuzzle him? No, that's more like something a wolf who was clingy would do. Did she just stand there and talk to him? Wait, why was she even thinking about this? It didn't matter how she greeted him, as long as it wasn't over-the-top full of emotion or dramatic.
She let out a sigh and took a few steps forward, allowing some of the sunlight to shine onto her. Just like when they first met, only the front half of her body was in the sun while the rest was cloaked in shadow, the sun making the gold on her pelt and in her eyes brighter. At first she had a look of surprise on her face that he was there, but a smile soon replaced it. "Well aren't you more lively than I've ever seen you. Any certain reason you seem so cheerful?"
To tell the truth, he seemed different somehow. Not in his appearance, but more in the general feeling that she got from him. In a way, she felt more comfortable being around him. Had he begun to learn what another emotion, perhaps relief or joy was? Somehow she doubted it, for joy was way too broad, especially for him. But maybe she as wrong. Maybe he was starting to be a bit more open to these new things that he was feeling. She could only hope so.
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Mar 5, 2018 16:11:04 GMT -5
DeSoto;
Her greeting was more subdued than DeSoto had pictured it in his mind, but then again, he wasn't exactly sure what he had pictured. Perhaps a quick embrace? No, that didn't seem right... In any case, he was glad to see her. Nanouk exhaled and allowed the sun to hit her front half. The light from her golden fur reflected and dazzled his eyes, but he didn't blink. When she smiled, though, DeSoto relaxed.
"Well aren't you more lively than I've ever seen you. Any certain reason you seem so cheerful?"
DeSoto shook his head and gave a shrug of his angled shoulders. He didn't know, exactly. Seeing her was definitely helping, though. Happiness, he was reasonably sure, was circling him and quickly drawing him in. It was considerably pup-like, this unfamiliarity with emotions... but he had the basics down. Sadness, happiness, anger; of course, he had known them by name before. It was only natural. But anger had been the only one with which to equate something personal to. But his understanding was broadening.
"A great deal," He replied after another moment's thought. That was how they conducted themselves around each other—as if they were moving in circles around each other, never quite approaching each other head on. Thoughtful words, careful interactions... it was the only way it could be, DeSoto figured. At least right now. But things could change. They had already started to. "I laughed today." He fairly blurted out the last words, glancing up and catching her golden stare with his own. Another hitch of his lips revealed his teeth. "It was odd. I've laughed before, but only in situations that perhaps didn't call for it—" He was referring to, of course, laughing at others' misfortune or stupidity. "But it... it was funny. And it made me... happy." Perhaps he was rushing into things... His eyes narrowed but he did not step back. "I thought I would tell you." Another hitch, another flash of teeth. "It seems longer than a season since we last saw each other." His tail didn't wag, but a lightness had come into his body. He had made personal leaps and bounds since the last time he and Nanouk and seen each other, even if they were not massive steps forward. Any progress at all was still progress. He could only hope that she noticed.
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 6, 2018 11:06:20 GMT -5
Nanouk;
The female's bright eyes widened. He had...laughed? And he was almost smiling? She didn't even hide the shock on her face as she stared at him. For a few moments she was speechless, which gave him that time to speak the rest of what he wanted to say. How had he come this far already? She half expected that she would find him to see that he hadn't changed at all. But excitement, laughter, smiles. They were starting to come to him naturally. And he was welcoming them!
Suddenly a large smile formed over her face and she bound forward, nuzzling the side of her face against his for a moment before taking a step back, the smile still on her face. "That is great! If I'm honest, I thought you would have hardly changed since I last saw you. But this...this is amazing."
It was in that moment that she realized what she had done, for those few moments of happiness had sort of been a blur when she did them. The skin under her fur burned slightly and she took another step back, looking down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at him. "S-Sorry. I just can't believe that you've already come this far. It doesn't seem like much, but you're smiling sort of and laughing. And even said you were happy. That's a lot better than the last time I saw you." She looked up at him and still kept the smile on her face, holding in her excitement so that she wouldn't make a wrong move like she had done before.
But it was strange. Lately she had been a bit more serious and contained, since she had things to deal with at home. Being here, in front of Desoto, talking about something that wasn't even related to her home or his, it was comforting. She was smiling more than she had the last time they saw each other. But when she thought about it, that wasn't the important part of this. None of this was for her. This was for Desoto. Their promise, their last encounter, it all was for him, not her. Right now he was the important one. She couldn't forget that. But she could at least show some joy during his progress.
"What was it that made you laugh?" Nanouk looked back to him, regaining her focus and setting aside her thoughts on what she had done. Yes, he was making progress, but that didn't mean she could go against what she had said last time. 'Even if you or both of us would want to be more than best friends when all of this ends, that part can't happen right now.' They couldn't be mates, or anything close to it. They were friends. And it would be that way until they were both ready for it to be more. Granted, that may have been in that moment that they were ready, but she knew better. He had laughed and had felt happy, but that was just one emotion that he had a thin grasp of. He still had a long way to go.
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Mar 6, 2018 13:36:52 GMT -5
DeSoto;
She leapt forward before DeSoto had a moment to register, and then all of a sudden she was against his face. She was warm... so soft. His eyes slammed closed of their own accord, memorizing her feel, her smell... It was then that he got stabbed in the chest once more. He didn't cry out, for DeSoto rarely did, and nor did he flinch, but he felt it. Couldn't he just have a moment without being reminded of his wretched past? But he had learned something in their time apart. His Alphess, Perjury, had given him a lot to think on. The pain would still come for a time, but he had learned it was all in his head. He was self-sabotaging himself subconsciously. He could feel the hardness of his shell melting all around him, and his body, his instinctual reaction, was to try and stop it from happening; hence the pain. But it wasn't real pain. It was just in his mind, regardless of where he felt it. But he had learned to accept the pain for what it was, accept it, and then move on from it. That's what he did in that moment of tension and contact. He felt the pain, he acknowledged it... and then he let it go.
By the time he opened his eyes again Nanouk had pulled away (and looked slightly startled at herself). She apologized, then said something about the way he was acting. DeSoto tilted his chin inward, as if considering himself, then nodded slowly. She was right. "I didn't think I would have changed either. It felt like everything was changing too rapidly and would all stop the moment I was away from you." He blinked those dark eyes of his, drinking in her appearance. The way she held herself. The way she dipped her head when she was embarrassed. DeSoto had to be careful, now. He was not there yet... but he was at the point where if he rushed things, he would be all in without looking back—and that might not be the best option for them. "Don't apologize, by the way." He added, catching her eyes. "I've missed you terribly." He stepped forward and bonked his forehead against hers; a familiar, kind, and warm gesture. This time, he felt no tension at the touch, and then he all but had to stop himself from leaping all over her then and there, embracing her, loving her. Baby steps. Baby steps...
"A cursed eagle that stole my lunch," He said in reply to her next words, speaking more openly to get his mind back on the straight and narrow. "Who then had it stolen it turn." A light, easy, unpracticed chuckle fell past his lips then. It didn't surprise him as it had before, for it was a small and little thing; but in that moment he wasn't sure if he was laughing simply because he had before, or because it was actually still funny. He tried not to dwell on it. Perhaps if he didn't calculate every little thing that came out of his mouth, things would begin to feel more natural.
"I found Perjury," He said, giving the name of his Alphess once more. He was sure he had mentioned her to Nanouk before. "She... She made me Beta of Frigid Plague." His words came out halted, because he still almost couldn't believe it. There he had been, fearing that he was losing touch of his evil alignment as well as all hope he had of ranking... and Perjury had appeared. It was all he had ever hoped for—all he had ever trained for. And now that he had it, he was still slightly in awe.
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 6, 2018 22:15:53 GMT -5
(WARNING: MAJOR FEELS AHEAD!)Nanouk;At first he had seemed slightly surprised by her actions, though that was too be expected, for so was she. She hadn't even realized what she did until after it was over, so it was no wonder she had felt that bit of embarrassment. She listened to what he said next and had to admit that she agreed. She also thought that these changes would be something that only happened when she was around. Really, she almost hoped for that, for that meant she was keeping to the promise she made him. To stay by his side as all of this new stuff happened. But she was also glad that it was happening away from her as well, for that meant he was learning to handle it on his own without her constant help. He then told her not to apologize and said that he had missed her...a lot? He then stepped forward and put his forehead against hers. Her eyes had went wide, again, at the gesture. During their last encounter there had been once or twice when he had done something similar to this, but those were only brief exchanges and were quite small. This one was closer and lasted longer than just a mere second. It caught her off-guard, but she wasn't against it. She did have that thought to step away from him, but she also didn't want to. She just closed her eyes and let it happen while it lasted. When he pulled away and spoke again, she was almost disappointed, but she didn't show this in any way. What he said next did kind of amuse her. The irony in what he had laughed at would have made her laugh as well. Wait, did he know what irony was? Most likely not. "That's irony; someone does something to someone else, only to have it done to them right after." Then he chuckled. Almost snickered. It hadn't been quite as much of a shock as it had been when she first saw him, but it was nice seeing this change. No matter how small, seeing this previously emotionless wolf smile was a comforting sight for the she-wolf. He then brought up a name she recognized. Perjury. He had said before that she was his Alphess. She didn't quite get what he meant by 'found her', but she went with it. Perhaps he had just ran into her by chance. Or had she been missing before? No, she couldn't start assuming things. Frigid Plague wasn't her pack, so she had no concern for what was happening with them unless it involved her own pack. But then he.....what? Her eyes widened further at his next statement and the smile she held previously slowly disappeared. She made him...her Beta? Her heart sank. She looked down at the ground, not willing to let him see the sadness that grew in her eyes. Yes, she was proud of him for apparently proving himself worthy enough to be a Beta. But his new promotion came with both perks and consequences. He would have authority. He got what he had wanted; she remembered him mentioning something about once training to be a Beta in his old home. He achieved the goal that his mentors had apparently wanted him to accomplish. All of that was good for him. But perhaps he hadn't realized the downfall of this. He was now the Beta of an evil pack. She was the Gamma of a neutral pack. Frigid Plague, as far as she knew, was a wolf of many members and was known by practically every wolf. The Beta was likely looked up to by many, as any Beta should be, but in a larger, more well-known pack, those expectations were bigger. A Gamma, if she remembered correctly, was also a rank that was usually respected, or at least had expectations put on their shoulders. But Ivory Wild was very small, less than eight members making up the whole pack. If she and Desoto ended up being mates, how would the wolves of Frigid Plague see Desoto knowing that he was mingling with a neutral Gamma of some tiny pack in the valley? Would he be looked down on? And what about this Perjury? What would she think? More importantly, what would Koa think if she knew? It wasn't a crime, as far as she was concerned, for wolves of different alliances to be friends, but mates? Did that ever happen? Would it happen with them? And if so... The area around her seemed to grow tense and her long tail hung loose behind her. Her golden eyes were still locked to the ground and she held still. "I see......congratulations." She then walked forward, going passed him. At first it may have seemed like she was just leaving right then, but she turned and climbed up on top of the cave she had been in previously. She took a seat atop it and looked up at the sky, which was slowly turning from a cloudy blue into more of a mix between orange, red, and the same gold that complimented the darkness of her pelt. Her eyes seemed distant, as if she was staring off passed the clouds above them. Normally she didn't let it happen, but her thoughts that were usually relatively happy were clouded with doubts. Is it even okay for me to be around him anymore? Is him being around me going to make others see him differently? Not all wolves care too much about the differences in alliances, but some take them seriously. What are the wolves of Frigid Plague like? Do they respect him as a Beta? And what about my pack? As much as I want to say I know everything about it and the members, but the only wolf I even really know is Koa. Do I even deserve to be a Gamma? Slowly, she almost began to feel a shell, similar to one like Desoto had, growing around her. Her mind was never filled will doubts or so much negativity. But now that it was, she found that getting rid of them was difficult. She didn't want Desoto to see her this way, but there wasn't much she could do. Plus, what would it matter if he saw her this way when there was a chance that they wouldn't even be able to see each other again? (Aggggghhhhh I was getting so upset typing this. But hey, on a more happy note, first 1,000+ post!! Also, just too make sure it is known. Yeah, this is really sad, and Nanouk is starting to turn into old Desoto. But they will be together. I will make sure of it. This is my favorite couple and I am not gonna let it fall *fills with determination*)
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Mar 7, 2018 13:12:52 GMT -5
((AH, I don't know if his poor little developing heart can take it!! Me thinks their relationship just got even more intricate. *cracks knuckles*))
DeSoto;
The excitement (and perhaps pride) that DeSoto had expected to see from Nanouk at the mention of his promotion did not come. He watched her, himself still seated, and drank in her reaction. She had mentioned something before about irony, and DeSoto had remembered a time or two previously in his life where irony might have happened—but any and all thoughts about that were wiped clean as he watched Nanouk digest his (frankly impressive and worthy of note) information. Her eyes widened, a sign that she was either surprised or excited, but then her gaze dropped. Just because DeSoto was becoming increasingly touchy-feely (as he liked to describe it), he had lost none of his observational proficiency. With her head angled down, however, the navy-blue male couldn't read the thoughts passing across her eyes. But then the air around her almost seemed to stiffen, and her tail became lifeless and droopy behind her. A shadow passed over DeSoto's eyes, and his chin flicked back slightly before her gaze lifted. He had seen posture like that before.
She spoke then, but didn't even look up and meet his eyes—like something heartbroken, or perhaps like a beaten pup. She murmured out a half-hearted congratulations, then scooped herself up and padded past him. There was no shoulder-brush, no whisper of warm air as they came close and then were once again parted. DeSoto didn't move his head, but allowed his eyes to follow her, the very movement of angling them so heavily seeming sharp and almost judgmental. He was unsure what to think in that moment, as he heard Nanouk alight to a higher cave. Suddenly, it was as if his mood had done a complete flip. His teeth no longer flashed in half-smiles, and he didn't chuckle again. Suddenly, he had a lot to think about. On the one paw, just who did she think she was—judging him and allowing this... these feelings of hers to bleed into DeSoto's achievement? Even the idea of it slowed the warming-feeling that had been steadily cropping up all around him. ... But on the other paw, he recalled that on their last meeting, she had said she might be a part of a pack soon. His ear flicked, the only movement he had made since Nanouk had strolled past him. Perhaps that possibility had come to pass? If so, DeSoto could see why and how this information might come as difficult for her to accept; then again, he recalled that she had said something else on their last encounter, as well. "Regardless of alliance or pack, I want to help you."
He turned his head slowly, eventually followed by his body, until he was gazing up at her silently, much as he had on that last encounter. He couldn't keep the calculating (and slightly criticizing) glint out of his eyes, but he hoped she was far enough away and that his eyes were dark enough, that she wouldn't be able to see. He guessed, that 'regardless of alliance or pack' changed when he actually accomplished something. DeSoto paused before saying anything to Nanouk. He was caught in a slightly uncomfortable place, somewhere between hurt and angry. He couldn't help but dwell on the idea that if he hadn't have opened up in the first place, they wouldn't be in this situation. Nanouk wouldn't be hurt (or mad, or sad, or whatever her problem was, he thought with an inward growl) if he had never played nice, and nor would he be feeling this conflict. There shouldn't have been any guilt or hesitation associated with him ranking to Beta. It had been all he had ever hoped for—and still was, frankly. He wasn't about to let Nanouk make him doubt the rightness of it all. But then at the same time, was she within her own rights to be upset by it? The quick answer was no. She was his friend—they had both made quite sure of that detail. Friends supported each other, especially when, apparently, alliance and pack didn't matter. But DeSoto was not a wolf for quick answers, and the longer and more thought-out answer was perhaps. They were friends, and each had expressed the hope that one day would become something more. Which, looking at things like that, it really was difficult that he had ranked. He almost growled in frustration. But it wasn't difficult that he had ranked. It was right. It was what had always been meant to happen. Once again, as apparently often happened when in her presence, DeSoto's mind began to spin. When he spoke though, it was with a completely level, if not slightly quiet, voice.
"Am I right in assuming, then," He said, breaking the silence as his eyes lifted to her on the higher level of the cave. "That joining the pack you were looking at came to pass?" Really, that was the only reason he could see for her reacting to his news that way. It was a little bit rich as well, since his Alphess, Perjury, of the evil Frigid Plague pack, had been the one to fully clear his mind and encourage him to open himself up to Nanouk at all. It had been after that conversation that changes had really started happening for DeSoto. But as he watched Nanouk peering out at the valley beyond, silent and brooding, he wondered if perhaps Perjury hadn't been wrong to make such a suggestion in the first place. He didn't want to feel these things about himself and Nanouk—he had had enough of doubts in that respect—but something about Nanouk not being happy that his literal life-goal had been achieved grated on him...
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 7, 2018 20:23:48 GMT -5
Nanouk;What kind of a friend was she? She didn't know it, but she had caused him to get angry, or confused, or whatever it was going through his head. Simply, he wasn't happy. Though, she didn't look at him to know that, and even if she had he likely wouldn't have shown it. She felt his eyes staring into the side of her, watching her from the moment she left the cave. She wanted to look at him. She wanted to look into those dark eyes that she had saw as black at first, but found them to be dark blue instead. Those eyes had been a comfort before, and they likely still were. As a matter of fact, she had used those eyes of his to give him an example of how she saw him during the last encounter they had. She couldn't remember her exact words, but she remembered saying that he, as a wolf, was not gray or black. He may appear to be, but once you got close enough and looked passed that exterior, he was really blue. But how could she look into those eyes now? She had shown so much excitement when she saw him and the way he had changed, but hearing about his promotion...and her reaction? What if the way she responded to his news would end up reversing everything that had happened until then? What if she ended up having all of those dreams of them possibly being together for nothing? She heard his voice, emotionless and calm, but she knew that his voice and his appearance almost never reflected how he felt inside. At his question, her eyes lowered slightly, now looking at the forest rather than the sky. "Yeah.....and I am said pack's Gamma." In a way, she had almost done what he had done to her, only perhaps his reaction to the news wouldn't be nearly as drastic as hers had been. There was no way he understood. And if he did, he likely didn't know how to react or how to put it into words. But that was her job, wasn't it...? Finally, her head turned and her eyes looked to his own. As much as she wanted to hide it, the bit of sadness that had been in her golden eyes all along had remained. She had locked eyes with him, instantly seeing just dark circles when she looked. She felt a painful feeling in her chest, as if someone had dug a claw into it, and she knew what she had to do. She stood from her spot and turned towards him, taking a few careful steps down the somewhat steep slope before stopping in front of him. The whole time that she walked her eyes didn't leave his once. She had to do this. She knew what she had said before, about them being friends before anything else. She was still keeping to that, but, in this instant, it wouldn't be that way. She took a single step forward and pushed her nose against his, sliding it passed and across the side of his muzzle, ending right near his eye. She closed her own eyes and rested the side of her muzzle against his. She spoke, but it was in a low, soft voice, unlike it had been any time before. "I...I am proud of you. I know that becoming a Beta has been your goal all this time, whether I was there or not. But I..., " her voice hesitated for a moment, somewhat quivering under her breath, before she continued. "During our last encounter, you said that you didn't want all of this to end with us just being best friends. If you meant what I think you meant..." Her eyes then opened to lock with his, a look of almost want and sadness mixed together. "Then I want the same thing. I just don't want that possibility to change things in both of our pack lives. You are a Beta. Respected, looked up to, admired even. Seen as the strong second-in-command, right next to your Alphess. Not only that, but you are the Beta of Frigid Plague, one of the largest and most well known packs in the valley." She pulled herself away, their noses nearly touching and eyes still locked. "What I said last time still stands. I don't care about our alliances...but not all wolves are like me. There are some that, if we were too be together, would see you differently because you're with some random neutral wolf from a tiny pack. You deserve respect. Perjury chose you for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but I don't blame her. And I don't want to be the one who makes her decision mean nothing to your packmates."She took another step forward, turning her head and licking his cheek. She looked at the ground again, hoping that he understood what she meant now. Perhaps he wouldn't, but she had at least tried. "You've worked all your life to get here...and I don't want to take that away from you."(<3 <3 <3 <3 See. That last one was depressing, but I could turn that into a lovey sort of depressed )
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Mar 8, 2018 14:16:13 GMT -5
((1,000+ words all gone. Gone. This one better be as good as the last one DDDDDX Muhhh it totally won't be, NOOOO))
DeSoto;
Suddenly and all at once, Nanouk was getting up and coming towards him. DeSoto easily slipped back on the familiar mask, hiding any and all of his thoughts, but other than that he did not move. She looked to him, and he met her eyes easily as she got up. He watched her, still caught somewhere between sadness and anger—an emotional place which even the most self-intune creatures would have a problem with. Emotions were difficult. It was so much easier to just ignore them all and move through life unfeeling and void. Except that it wasn't. Not anymore.
Then suddenly, as she came closer, DeSoto was once more hit with the idea that he didn't want to lose himself within it all. The thought came suddenly and surprisingly at first, but as Nanouk came closer an closer, it started to form into a real idea. DeSoto didn't move, he didn't even breath, but his mind flicked into high-speed. There was a lot of confusion in his life then (though it had gone from a lot, to less, to more again), but in that moment, he realized that there didn't have to be. Why should he be any different than any other wolf? DeSoto replayed all of the feelings, reactions, and words spoken throughout the encounter so far, and as Nanouk walked towards him, closing the gap between them, he realized something. Why couldn't he have both? Both of what he wanted. Why couldn't he be both a successful Beta of an evil pack, and a wolf that felt and accepted their emotions? He had come into the encounter happy, it was true, but had quickly descend into the all-too-familiar territory of confusion and frustration—and all because of something Nanouk had said. Because of the way she had reacted to him. But he didn't have to. Not anymore, at least. DeSoto didn't want to walk through life basing his emotions and his feelings (if he was indeed stuck with them from now on) off of how others acted. He wanted to be his own wolf. And in that, he knew in that moment, that being his own wolf meant, indeed, being an evil Beta, loyal to Perjury. But why couldn't he also be loyal to other things? Other wolves? His eyes found Nanouk has she crept closer, and realized that if they were to be friends—or perhaps something more—that it didn't have to be a struggle to be true to both sides of himself.
He could be a wolf that felt things like love, sadness, fear, but that also didn't let those things slow him down or distract him. Just because emotions now existed for him, in whatever form they took, it didn't mean that they had to drastically change who he was. Then as Nanouk came closer, she told him that she had ranked to Gamma within the pack—Ivory Wild, he could only guess. He had heard of it and was clever enough to guess that it had been the new pack that Nanouk had told him about—but her ranking had either been something he hadn't expected, or didn't foresee. But even as she began speaking of issues that such things could cause, DeSoto was already forming responses in his head. His thoughts almost wiped clean when their noses touched and she rested her muzzle against his, but as if he was proving to himself that he could, he kept his focus—easily, even.
"And what of the others?" He spoke, his voice quiet and even. "I deserve respect, yes, but I also demand it. I am Beta of Frigid Plague, selected by Perjury and handcrafted for the position. She approves, she was the one who told me to come find you—so what of the others?" His dark eyes flashed. "They can either accept me as the right wolf for the job, a title that I both earned and will continue to live up to—or they can't." He knew nothing of the Alpha of Ivory Wild and how she would react, but in that moment it didn't honestly matter very much. "Why should other wolves dictate who or how I spend my time, and you yours—if our Alpha's agree? Friends, mates, it is our decision, not anybody else's." He brushed past the second term almost without notice. He shook his head and stood up. His long legs stretched, and his angled shoulders rolled under his skin and the soft fur at the base of his neck.
DeSoto looked at her, his cheek still damp from where she had licked it. He would not be a wolf that allowed himself to get pulled along by their emotions, out of control and at their mercy—but he also wouldn't be a wolf that disallowed himself to feel. He could have both, and he intended to. Ranking under Perjury had strengthened his belief that he was he was supposed to be—but his time with Nanouk was also showing him that he could be more. She could either accept him as an evil wolf, and a Beta at that... or she couldn't. But if she could... then perhaps, perhaps....
((Blah I don't know I hope that's fine x( ))
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 11, 2018 21:32:20 GMT -5
Nanouk;
Why? Why was it always him that made her lose herself? She was always calm, collected, kept her emotions in balance. Yet, the moment she met Desoto, that seemed to wither away. How was it that she was now turning into him? It seemed the two of them had switched places in terms of their views of themselves. Desoto started out emotionless, and became confused as he began to feel emotion. Nanouk had always had emotion and had times when she openly showed them, the first time they met being an example, but she started to become confused when she felt these new feelings that felt different. Now, Desoto had seemed to become very aware of himself and his emotions that he was feeling. Meanwhile, Nanouk was almost regretting having any.
It was a terrible thing to think. It was something she had never thought about before. But this was starting to become too much.
When they first met, Nanouk was just herself. She remained calm and collected throughout most of their encounter, only growing angry and revealing her emotions once. The second time they met each other, she had felt some strange things. She felt fear at the thought of Desoto dying when he pulled his stunt on the waterfall, confusion at the fact that she was starting to like him, anger that he couldn't understand what either of them were feeling, and hope that she could bring Desoto to be a new wolf. A wolf who could be strong and collected, but also not heartless. But this time was different. She started off happy; Desoto was so cheerful, was sort of smiling, and had even laughed! He even said that he was now the Beta of his pack, which was quite the accomplishment. But then many emotions fell on her at once. Regret, fear, sorrow, jealousy. All of it came at the same time, causing her mood to drastically change within seconds. Then, what took it over the edge, was this. What he had just done. She had poured her emotions and thoughts out onto him. She told him what she found to be problematic about their entire situation. She basically explained her entire mood-change to him. And then he tossed it. He immediately pretty much rejected everything that she said, throwing the exact opposite right at her. If she was of a right mind at that moment, she would completely agree with him. Everything he said was true and made perfect sense. But her mind was running rampant on her, so this didn't happen.
She suddenly recalled what happened when they first met. He had done something very similar to this. It had been a while since then, but if she remembered correctly she had told him that he was weak and explained why, only to have him completely reverse it and make it seem like she hadn't even been talking about him. Only back then his response had only frustrated her. This time it caused her hear to just sink - again.
She looked down to the ground again for a moment, silent as all these thoughts went through her head. He had all of this confidence so suddenly. At that same moment, she felt something. Confidence? No, not that. Determination? Closer, but not quite. She had no word to go with what she suddenly felt. But her mind cleared, her body became less tense, and she did seem a bit more calm. As much as it would be nice to say she became this way because what he said convinced her, but it wasn't like that. She took a few moments to breathe, closing her eyes tightly before relaxing herself. When she lifted her head, she was different. There was no emotion. No sadness, no confusion, no happiness. No nothing. She just looked at him, stone-faced, and only said a few words.
"If you say so." In all honesty, the best way to describe her was like Desoto when they first met. Emotionless and uncaring. He said all of that as if he knows that is how this will work. He doesn't know whether any of that is true. Either way, I'll let him go along with himself. He's starting to become a wolf of emotion. He's gotten this far with hardly any help from me. Since he's gotten all this confidence now, he can make the final decision. If he wants to remain friends with me, if he wants me to be his mate, even if he wants me to just disappear once he has learned to control his emotions. He can choose. And I will be waiting for when he makes that choice.
Really, she should have said all of this out loud when she thought it. But she took a step back away from him and looked to him. A very small, hardly even noticeable smile formed at the edge of her mouth, but it almost seemed fake, before she did speak. "It's your choice from here on. If you know for sure that everything you said is how it will turn out and how you view it, then you choose where this goes. If you want to remain friends, if you wanted to be mates. I will go with whatever you choose. Until you decide that, I'm going to focus on my pack. This is not to say that I will just stop looking for you or talking to you. I will just make myself into the Gamma that my pack expects me to be. And no matter what you choose.....I will always have feelings for you."
She then turned away, looking back towards the forest. "If I'm honest, I've never felt this for any other wolf. I cared for my family, but not in the same way that I care about you. If you wanted to focus on being a good Beta, then I won't hold you back."
(I honestly wasn't entirely sure what to write the further I got down. Before she started talking I knew what I was typing, then it just went downhill from there x.x But I will say that while typing her speaking part I started thinking of how thrown off she would get if he just suggested they be mates right then. I'm not saying that is what I want to happen or what you should do, I just thought it was kinda funny to think about.)
|
|
|
Post by Meds on Mar 12, 2018 22:22:12 GMT -5
((Listening to 'It Will Rain' by Bruno Mars on repeat as I type my reply. FEELS))
DeSoto;
She was tortured. DeSoto could see it in her eyes. His expression did not change, but he wondered if her suffering was anything like his own. His was so wrapped in confusion, unsure what to do with the emotions all fighting to be felt at once—against a wolf who had grown up accepting those feelings for her whole life. Did that make her suffering worse, or better? It was a question too philosophical for DeSoto, but it was clear Nanouk was feeling something. In response to his words, his coolly explaining that others had to agree, he saw a bit of real torment flash in her eyes. One of his sharp ears flicked, but other than that he didn't move as he watched her. He had expected his words to reassure her; but then again, he didn't know how her mind worked. He could have been way off with his guess. He tried to look at it from the angle she had brought up. He supposed it would be quite problematic if other wolves thoughts badly of them for whatever this was... but no, no. Every time his thoughts traveled down that path, he inevitably ended up with the fact that they simply would accept it. What could they do to him? To her, with him standing by? Nothing, nothing. Nothing.
Then, however, it was as if the clouds cleared. When she lifted her head once more to meet his gaze, her face was as blank a mask as he could have ever produced himself. His brow raised, almost impressed. He couldn't help but think it was some sort of show... but then again, Nanouk didn't strike him as the kind of wolf to hide her feelings. DeSoto regarded her with the same stoic expression, ignoring her words. Yes. He said so, and so it would be. If not, he would make it so.
But her words filled him, if not with doubt, then with a sort of numbing sensation. She was trying so hard to place her emotions and feelings out of the way—to become exactly what DeSoto was slowly moving away from. He didn't buy it, and nor did he think it was an appropriate course for her to choose. Whether she consciously made the choice or not, DeSoto didn't care. He wouldn't be the reason that another wolf became a cold and hardened shell.
"I don't know," He said, catching her line of sight. He could feel his elation from the beginning of the interaction slipping away by the second, but he made his voice lilt all the same. "All I can do is hope. I'm a wolf of action. I say it and so it will be." He repeated his thoughts out loud. "Or so I can continually tell myself until I believe it." When Nanouk continue, saying she would blindly follow whatever choice he picked, he felt himself recoil slightly. This was not the firey and sure-of-herself wolf he had met and found such an interest in. This was somebody else, somebody that Nanouk was trying on for size—and it did not fit her. DeSoto tilted his head slightly, allowing his eyes to bore into her, shifting so the sun caught them and made the blue shine out for what it was.
"You sound so excited about it." He forced his lips to part in a half-way joking smirk. "'I'll be your mate if you want me to, the end.'? That doesn't sound like the way it should be." He cleared his throat in a gentle cough, then tossed the fur by his neck. "What makes this interaction the one where I have to choose? Where we have to choose? I am a Beta, you are a Gamma. Is there some unwritten law I am unaware of that says that because of those reasons it is now one or the other?" He shook his head slowly. "I've never felt this way about another wolf either—about anything. I've never felt..." He tasted his next words on his mouth before he said them, considering them. "Do you really think I would let something or somebody ruin that?"
|
|
|
Post by Calypso on Mar 14, 2018 20:24:19 GMT -5
Nanouk;
Really, she was unsure what she was doing anymore. How had it come to this? How could this one wolf cause her so much conflict with herself? No other wolves had ever done this before. There was only one wolf that had ever made her feel somewhat similar, but that was a long time ago now, back before she was in the valley. Back when she had a family to call her own, just to have it torn away from her. She supposed that these two situations were polar opposites, but they made her feel as though she was changing, likely for the worst.
It wasn't entirely that way in this case, but still. She cared for Desoto, more than she thought she would when their very first meeting was over. She was experience this tingling in her chest when she thought of him and butterflies in her stomach when she saw him for the first time. In addition, her sudden thoughts of doubt and confusion had thrown her off completely. She hadn't expected herself to react the way she did when he revealed his news. She wanted to be happy for him. She was proud of him for being seen as worthy enough to serve under his Alphess. She was glad that he had accomplished his ultimate goal. But she was worried about what this new change would bring when it came to both of them. She didn't want to suddenly be removed from his life because of his pack or his status. She wanted them to be together, whether it be romantically or not.
That was when she realized. Am I really being that selfish? She did feel a pang of regret grow in her chest. What was she doing? Why was she letting herself do this to herself? And to Desoto? She processed his words, still looking at him with the same blank expression. But, for once, her looks weren't reflecting her thoughts. She seemed to be completely emotionless on the outside, yet her thoughts that she had previously gotten rid of were starting to return. In all honesty, she wanted to apologize to him and try to turn back to her regular self, but she had already caused him so much confusion and likely anger already. Her entire mood had changed about three times already within what felt like mere minutes. It was difficult for her to deal with, but it had to be worse for Desoto. He was getting used to regular emotions on their own, one at a time. Her current mood swings were not a good thing to be showing during this time, but it was too late. She had already done this much. She had to find a way to get back to herself and get away from this.
Randomly, her head and body turned, her eyes at first seeming to look up towards the sky, but really facing the mountain. A few thoughts ran through her head, ones that she had not even expected from herself. She remained silent for a while, staring up at the mountain. Her body didn't move and none of her muscles even twitched. She seemed frozen in time, the only movement being her fur when a light breeze would ruffle it gently. A black statue that glowed golden.
She then turned back to him. Her face wasn't necessarily emotionless or blank anymore. As a matter of fact, there wasn't really a word that could be placed in her expression. Confusion? Curiosity? Interest? Clarity? There was no one word that matched her appearance. "I...I'm sorry. Could...would you mind if we talk about something else? There's just something that has been on my mind a few times recently that I feel like I can talk to you specifically about." In a way, she was avoiding the current subject, but not on purpose. She had merely allowed a reoccurring thought to enter her head and cause her to speak about it before it faded away or was replaced by whatever she had been feeling during this interaction.
|
|